In my experience, one of the most uncomfortable aspects of panic attacks was the pounding sensation in my chest caused by my heart beating faster. This was almost always accompanied by the constant worry that it wouldn't stop on its own.
Quick fact: during a panic attack, your brain releases adrenaline (epinephrine) into your bloodstream. This signals to your heart to beat faster, so that your muscles receive more blood in case you need to fight or escape. However, adrenaline is not endless; it breaks down quickly. Once the signal fades, your heart slows down again to conserve energy. Your body has a built-in system that prevents your heart from racing forever.
I love working out and going to the gym. Sport has played a key role in my life ever since I was young. It has helped me to find balance and manage stress.
Logically, working out makes the heart beat faster to supply the muscles with blood for activities such as lifting weights, running and jumping. However, since I started fearing a faster heartbeat during panic attacks, it was only a matter of time before I experienced one at the gym.
That first panic attack made me dread the next session. At first, I took longer breaks, and then I wouldn't finish workouts, even calling my wife for reassurance and to calm down. Eventually, the gym no longer felt safe. What if I had a panic attack mid-session? What if something happened to me?
Working out suddenly felt dangerous.
I ended up stopping going to the gym altogether and avoiding any activity that could raise my heart rate, not just at the gym, but also when hiking or playing football, which I enjoyed a lot. Paradoxically, I stopped doing activities that are really good for the heart. This lasted for about two months.
Needless to say, avoiding working out didn't help. In fact, it made things worse. I was unconsciously telling my body that working out was indeed unsafe.
I still remember sitting in my car, driving, and thinking: 'If I could just feel like I used to, I wouldn't skip a single session ever again.' What if I stayed like this forever? Would I ever enjoy working out without fear?
Spoiler alert: yes, it does get better. No, it doesn't stay like this forever. However, it requires you to take responsibility for yourself and change it.
Fortunately, even when we are experiencing intense anxiety, there are moments when we can think clearly and logically. These moments of clarity enable us to take a step back and think about how to solve the issue. During one such moment, I realised that what I was doing didn't make any sense. It is sport that keeps me in shape, healthy and safe, not the other way around.
So I decided to find a solution. I researched activities that would get my body moving without spiking my heart rate. The idea of going back to the gym straight away felt too overwhelming, so I broke the challenge down into smaller, more manageable steps.
1st step: Yoga
Yoga helped me regain my confidence in moving around again without the intense exertion of regular sports.
2nd step: micro-workouts.
I then discovered micro-workouts, which were the perfect transition from yoga to fully returning to the gym.
I started very small, with one or two five-minute micro-workouts a day, slowly increasing the amount I did. repetitions. series, and workout lengths.
3rd step: going back to the gym!
It was an ongoing process with its ups and downs, requiring consistency, effort, and a change in mindset. The tools that helped me along the way were breathwork, cold exposure, spending time in nature, seeing friends and therapy. Eventually, I was able to return to the gym.
Mindset is everything. It was through daily repetition that my body relearned to feel safe again. That's how I regained control over fear, and if I can do it, you can too.