Can we actually get rid of Anxiety?

Anxiety has been, without a doubt, not only a valuable tool but also one of the greatest teachers that has accompanied me throughout my life.

Going through a very challenging period—experiencing panic attacks and all kinds of unknown sensations in my body—taught me valuable lessons. I learned just how strong and resilient my body actually is, as well as the essential role anxiety itself plays in my life.

If you search for anxiety on Google, you’ll most likely find a header like “how to get rid of anxiety.” That was exactly what I was looking for, or at least what I believed I wanted at the time. And I really did try everything: cold showers, meditation, sports, walking in nature—you name it.

I lived for so long with this anxious feeling in my belly that I honestly didn’t know what life would feel like without it. I even remember asking myself if it was normal, if everyone had this tightness inside. Eventually I learned that, of course, not everyone experiences this. For me, this anxious tension—especially in my stomach—only intensified when I began experiencing panic attacks. In retrospect, I suppose I’d accumulated so much stress and anxiety over the years that my body and subconscious finally decided it was time to confront it.

Now, 30+ years of anxiety isn’t something you can just “heal” in one sitting. After all, it took decades to develop; it only makes sense that it will take time and patience to restore a sense of balance. Even trying every possible method and technique all at once, in my view, is not the ideal approach.

Today, after years of looking back and asking myself whether it’s possible to truly get rid of anxiety, I can honestly say it isn’t—and, in fact, we are lucky that this is the case.

Anxiety is just our body's alarm system. It is there for a reason at its to protect us and not the other way around, so why would we want to get rid of it at all?

When I look back to those years of panic attacks, fear and high levels of anxiety, trying to get rid of it, not only did it not work but it actually made it bigger, stronger. It grew stronger because by trying to get rid of it I was also trying to get rid of that part of me that was still feeling the emotions attached to it; emotions that needed space, to be heard, acknowledged.

If I could explain it in simple words, imagine that you are feeling sad and maybe are crying and somebody comes and tells you "come on, you are not sad" or "just stop feeling sad". What would be your reaction? Would that at all help you stop feeling sad? Of course not. You might probably feel unheard, unvalidated and therefore would make you repress that emotion.

Now, imagine its you doing that to yourself instead somebody else? You tell yourself that you should stop feeling sad and just be happy. Does that work? Also dont. Or at least it has never worked for me and this has been one of the many gifts anxiety has given me and helped me changed my view on it . It is no longer an enemy to get rid of, its not a defect from the system. Its a feature by design, its a tool and its a teacher.

Research shows that our bodies make little distinction between emotional reactions to past or future events. We can experience those feelings as if the events were happening right now.

Try thinking about a joyful moment, such as a hug from a loved one, a party, a wedding or a holiday. Your body recreates the chemistry, bringing back those same emotions. I still remember today, the feeling of getting a hug from my dad, even though he is no longer around.

The same applies to anticipation: planning a trip or event can make you happy weeks in advance. When I played football, simply knowing I was going to play a match on Saturday used to make me excited all week.

I remember having this feeling whenever I used to play football. I would wait all week feeling motivated, happy and joyful, looking forward to Saturday when I would finally be able to play a match.

The same principle applies to negative emotions. Therefore, if we now know that anxiety is about the past or the future, we can consciously decide how we want to experience the present by paying attention to it.

Anxiety is the tool that guides us towards those emotions that need to be acknowledged.

When we acknowledge and work with them, giving them the space they need, they move on — we let them go. It is then that anxiety's job is done, and it then leaves with them... until next time we need it.

So, would you truly want to get rid of anxiety?

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